my name is pagan / i'm from adelaide

Exactly eight years ago today, my father and I lost the most remarkable woman I’ve ever known. I’ve spent an entire half of my life without you, Mum. You fought so hard for far too long. I was only four when you were diagnosed with breast cancer, and we spent the next four years travelling to and from the city for various treatments. I never minded, though - I just wanted you to be okay. I remember you losing your long blonde hair and having it grow back grey; I remember how sad that made you. It made you so upset that I had to witness you as sick as you were at such a young age. You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known, even though I barely did. One of my fondest memories of you is dragging a mattress onto the floor of the lounge room next to yours just before you got too sick to have me around. We stayed up late on school nights watching Disney Channel together and reading Harry Potter. You loved me as much as any mother ever could. I remember the day you passed so distinctly - I was staying with family friends and I’d just seen you before school that morning. You died around this time, actually. My aunty picked me up to take me home and was crying, and told me “Mummy’s gone to heaven.” I think that was the angriest I’ve ever been, and not just because you were gone but also because even in my eight year old mind I knew you were as Atheist as they come. I mean, who else names their kid Pagan?
Rest in peace, Mum. I love you.

Exactly eight years ago today, my father and I lost the most remarkable woman I’ve ever known. I’ve spent an entire half of my life without you, Mum. You fought so hard for far too long. I was only four when you were diagnosed with breast cancer, and we spent the next four years travelling to and from the city for various treatments. I never minded, though - I just wanted you to be okay. I remember you losing your long blonde hair and having it grow back grey; I remember how sad that made you. It made you so upset that I had to witness you as sick as you were at such a young age. You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known, even though I barely did. One of my fondest memories of you is dragging a mattress onto the floor of the lounge room next to yours just before you got too sick to have me around. We stayed up late on school nights watching Disney Channel together and reading Harry Potter. You loved me as much as any mother ever could. I remember the day you passed so distinctly - I was staying with family friends and I’d just seen you before school that morning. You died around this time, actually. My aunty picked me up to take me home and was crying, and told me “Mummy’s gone to heaven.” I think that was the angriest I’ve ever been, and not just because you were gone but also because even in my eight year old mind I knew you were as Atheist as they come. I mean, who else names their kid Pagan?

Rest in peace, Mum. I love you.

this is baby trevor i guess he’d be a lot bigger now though i miss him a lot

this is baby trevor i guess he’d be a lot bigger now though i miss him a lot

MY BABY NELLY
in the second picture she is the one at the bottom im sobbing i miss her so much look how soft and cuddly she is and shes so protective and perfect i need her in my life again

my favourite dog breed are german shepherds i fricken love them i miss my baby nelly very much but we will hopefully be getting her back soon i’m crying a little just thinking about it she’s my best friend i love her i really hope we can have her back because dad’s ex still has all the dogs (3) and needs to get rid of them because she wants to move but we couldn’t take nel yet because we’re renting but our rent runs out in october and we’re going to see if dad’s new girlfriend could keep nelly at her house with her animal friends until then and i’m really excited i really really hope we get her back because she was my only salvation when we lived with caroline we used to go on walks at the creek together and she’s huge but she’d sit on my lap by the fire i really am crying now i hope suzanne can keep her at her house for a while i love her so so so much my precious german shepherd baby i’m gonna find a photo of her for you guys i’m so emotional i really hope i can have her back

forthosebelowmyfeet:

my bed is made. my sweater is on. when is ezra arriving

apparently my name is misleading

image

sorry johnnie, but the answer is no

huade:

It’s not very good :(
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL PAGAN I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON XXXXXXXX


it’s actually so bad i’m v embarrassed right now

huade:

It’s not very good :(

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL PAGAN I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON XXXXXXXX

it’s actually so bad i’m v embarrassed right now

interlaid:


hb ethan!!!! i wanted 2 make you a pic to stick with the trend but i decided a weird selfie collage was cooler :-) ft. mcdonalds to accommodate for your love. ily xx

thank you so much love u buddy xx

interlaid:

hb ethan!!!! i wanted 2 make you a pic to stick with the trend but i decided a weird selfie collage was cooler :-) ft. mcdonalds to accommodate for your love. ily xx

thank you so much love u buddy xx

infauna:

infauna:

SAD STORY:

i was at gloria jeans yesterday and the person taking orders was this rly cute looking guy (louis tomlinson’s face with ashton irwin’s hair except light redish orange???? strawberry blond????) and i was like dayuuuum but the ppl in front of me were taking ages right and then i spotted my friend who graduated last year and was all like “hey!!!!” and talked to him for about 10 minutes BUT when i returned to buying coffee…… cute boy was gone

like if u cried

UPDATE: i have returned to the same gloria jeans. cute boy is here. today is a good day

UPDATE: i took a photo of cute boy but then i got my replacement phone and lost the picture. times are once again v tough. he also had a rly nice voice and i bet he could sing. i’m not ok. feel free to send cards of sympathy to me in the post

can we just
look how nice my hair was jfc

can we just

look how nice my hair was jfc

SAD STORY:

i was at gloria jeans yesterday and the person taking orders was this rly cute looking guy (louis tomlinson’s face with ashton irwin’s hair except light redish orange???? strawberry blond????) and i was like dayuuuum but the ppl in front of me were taking ages right and then i spotted my friend who graduated last year and was all like “hey!!!!” and talked to him for about 10 minutes BUT when i returned to buying coffee…… cute boy was gone

like if u cried

downloaded animal crossing lol

downloaded animal crossing lol